S3H3 #100

RUN REPORT

Attendees: (GM & Hare) Piss Bath, (Hash Flash) Dick Pic, Shitty Slacker, Tastes Great, The Mongarian, (Circlemeister) Gobblin’ King, & (Hare & Hash Flash) Chemically Castrated.

We must give thanks to two clueless hares who dared to drive down to Vung Tau by taxi on the Friday evening only to just about hobbled, hemmed and hawed around the next day through the streets & hems in the morning to lay out the trail.

Alas, through four years of hardship, mandatory inebriation, two MMCs & two GMs we did it, we made the centennial run!

All the hashers made it to Vung Tau in Hash orderly fashion and almost everyone in the same building ‘The Song’ except for one Kiwi.

On Saturday, we celebrated the 100th anniversary of S3H3 opening circle. We hashers started from ‘The Song’ & made our way to the beach and had our 1^st beerstop on the beach. We drank our fermented refreshments, stared at that wonderful South China Sea under the shade of the blistering sun.

We then made the run through the beach whilst the walkers made enough time to buy ice-creams and take selfies whilst the runners blistered away under the blazing heat and humidity.

We arrived at the McDonalds where more frequent, consistent arrows could be seen. We managed to navigate through the streets and hems of Vung Tau until we reached the 2^nd beer stop, the Circle K and need that liquid fuel to keep on top of things. In the mean time Tastes Great definitely lived up to his name by disappearing somewhere off the trail and managed to arrive a few minutes later. The walkers Gobblin’ King, The Mongarian and Dick Pic arrived fashionably late and joined in to ‘refuel’ themselves.

The final leg of the hash led us to the Ho Bau Sen river, through Phan Chu Trinh to the 3^rd Beer stop, the GS25. Here we held the closing circle, made charges upon one another in particular to our glorious leader and hare Piss Bath who punched with the rolls by everyone & stood tall & proud like the immortal Emperor Lê Thánh Tông (Lê Dynasty, 1460–1497), then closed the circle.

Still full of vigour and completely inebriated, we then staggered off to the BBQ 이안 (IAN) Korean Food where we had our fill of food and more fermented refreshments, we then finalised it all by drifting bar to bar. We managed to experience the thunder and lightning complemented by torrential rainfall which flooded the local streets and hems. We had the privilege of watching a patron who danced in the rain, cackling during her laughs while having frequent orgasms as it rained.

After the storm had passed through, and excellent drainage did all the rainwater disappear (way better drainage system than HCMC), we continued on our journey through more bars then ended our journey in the early hours of the morning.

Gentlemen and degenerates, we did it. Through four long years of physical hardship, mandatory inebriation, two MMCs, and two GMs, we finally erected our monumental 100th anniversary run! The milestone was met with the usual S3H3 elegance: pure, unadulterated chaos. 

Most of the sophisticated flock managed to nest in the exact same erection—the ‘The Song’ building. Well, everyone except for one lone Kiwi who clearly lost his compass and probably ended up sleeping with the sheep. 

The Masterful Layout

We must cast our eyes down and thank our two clueless, brave Hares—Piss Bath and Chemically Castrated. These two virile specimens shoved themselves into a Friday night taxi to Vung Tau, only to spend Saturday morning hobbling, hemming, hawing, and shooting their chalky fluid all over the streets and tight hems to lay a trail for us. 

Stop 1: Beachside Bliss & Blistering Heat

The opening circle commenced at ‘The Song’ air bnb before we marched our turgid masses down to the beach. 

• The Runners: Blistered away under the blazing, humid heat, taking the hard pounding like real men. 
• The Walkers: Gobblin’ King, The Mongarian, and Dick Pic took a much lazier approach. They loitered about, licking ice creams, taking selfies, and arriving fashionably late as usual. 

We took our first collective mouth-load of fermented refreshment on the beach, staring out at the gorgeous South China Sea under a blistering, hot sun. 

Stop 2: Golden Arches & Convenience Store Kink

The trail led us past a McDonald’s—where the Hares’ arrows finally started getting frequent, consistent, and remarkably stiff. We navigated Vung Tau’s tightest gaps and back-alleys until we hit the second beer stop: Circle K. We desperately needed that liquid fuel injected straight into our systems. 

Special shoutout to Tastes Great, who absolutely lived up to his slutty moniker. He completely wandered off-trail into some dark corner, only to reappear minutes later looking thoroughly satisfied and slightly disheveled. 

Stop 3: The Climax & The Closing Circle

The final, sweaty leg pushed us past the Ho Bau Sen river and through Phan Chu Trinh, squeezing every last drop of energy until we reached the third and final lubrication station: GS25. 

Here, the closing circle was officially unleashed: 

• Sins were confessed, and aggressive, deeply personal charges were laid bare upon one another. 
• Our glorious leader and Hare, Piss Bath, took a heavy pounding from everyone’s verbal abuse. Yet, he rolled with the punches, standing tall, proud, and completely unbothered like the immortal Emperor Lê Thánh Tông himself. 

The Aftermath: Meat, Moans, and Monsoon Floods

Thoroughly lubricated and completely inebriated, we staggered our way over to the 이안 (IAN) Korean BBQ to stuff our faces with meat and down even more alcohol. 

Then, the heavens truly opened. As torrential rain and lightning flooded the local hems, we were treated to a live, open-air performance. A local patron decided to strip away all decency, dancing wildly in the downpour, cackling like a lunatic, and seemingly achieving multiple, frequent rain-induced orgasms right before our very eyes. Truly, a centennial miracle. 

Once the storm passed and the streets drained themselves completely dry (putting HCMC’s terrible drainage to shame), the Sirs did what they do best. We drifted from bar to bar, pillaging the local nightlife, and finally collapsed into the early hours of the morning. 

Here’s to 100 more runs of sophistication, debauchery, and bad decisions! 

On-On!!!